..fuck. i have been purging for the last two days. i have been restricting and all for.. since my last post pretty much. i have no excuse for no posting and for that i apologize. i am sinking like the titanic and i have no life raft. am i off my medicine? yes, i am. so does that mean i am all well? no, my psychiatrist wouldn't see me anymore so no medicine. do i think i need medicine? yes, i need to stop the panic and the shakes and the sadness. do i want help for my relapse? not yet, i want it but i don't want it quite yet. i want to try to help myself until i am too ill. i am fine for now. i was talking to Lucy for a while tonight. i was happy to hear she's doing well(: however Judy Bloom, Seventeen, and anything else could not prepare me for what i'm going through right now. until next post..
Lindsey <3
