I'm trying. I really am. But nothing seems to be working. I resist symptoms and then its all i can think about. I give into symptoms and it just doesn't stop and I'm in a downward spiral no matter what. I'm relapsing and it hurts like hell. I worked my ass off in recovery and now its all thrown away? What the fuck? And now I can't even begin to find the words to tell my mother or anyone that I need help again. I feel like I am just a burden to everyone because of this. Even though they think I am recoverED, I know they still worry about me and if I'm eating. How did I get this way? Why am I such a fuck up? Why can't I just be normal? Why can't I just recover?
~Lindsey
