..since laxatives suck so bad why can't i stop eating them like candy?? and i hate bingeing and yet i did about four times this week and purged about six times this week.. but i like purging.. i'm crazy and fucked up and everything under the sun.. like the last week at school i've (as you all know) been taking so many laxatives so then my stomach has been so upset and i can't think!! and you know what? i know every god damn bad thing i'm doing to my body in having an eating disorder and yet i do this shit every fucking day. and do you what to know why i'm so damn angry and upset right now? because every fucking one of my friends ditched me for the Milton football game.. so i'm fucking pissed.. i needed something to do to numb me so i binged and purged.. i started binging about an hour ago then purged at like five and like just stopped, swallowed a shit-load of laxatives, now i'm blogging. aren't i just a big fucking ray of sunshine? ughhh..
~Lindsey
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